The Toliet Tree

Have you ever heard of the toilet tree?
It’s real, yes it’s real, believe you in me!
It’s shaped like a toilet, but it’s not for pee
And I climbed it one time, yep, me and mommy

We were running errands, and it wasn’t too fun
And I said to my mommy, “can we just be done?
How many more stops?”, and she said “Just one”
And it was right then that the journey begun

We came to this store that I never had seen
Its inside was white, and incredibly clean
And right in middle, of isle thirteen
Was a toilet shaped tree, with a porcelain glean!

I looked at my mommy, and she laughed and she smiled
“Let’s climb it,” she said, “aren’t you curious, child?”
She jumped off the floor, ceramically tiled
And she swung up the first branch orangutang styled

So up it I went, but was I surprised!
Because none of the leaves were equally sized
In fact, they weren’t leaves, no I soon realized,
They were things for the bathroom! I couldn’t believe my eyes!

There were leaves for the shower, yes leaves of shampoo
And leaves of made of bar soap, pink, yellow, and blue
And shaving cream cans right next to them grew
My mommy said “Pick them, that’s what we’re here to do!”

There was a branch full of teeth things, like toothpaste and floss
And mouthwash, and toothpicks, and I looked right across
To the branch to my left that grew leaves of lip gloss
And chapstick, and lipstick, and bubble bath sauce

Cue tips, and tissues, and white cotton fluff
With toilet paper petals that were soft, never rough
Formed flowers on branches, next to all the other stuff
I picked one, and Mommy said, “That isn’t enough”

So we went to the next limb, which grew syrups and pills
For fevers, for toothaches, for headaches, for chills
There was a pharmacist monkey for pre-scription fills
And I thought that was all, yes I that thought until


I got to the next branch that grew bandaids and gauze!
And diapers for babies, and some for grandpas
And good smelling lotions, that we didn’t need because
Mommy said they only use those things in spas.

There was a branch full of hair things, like barrettes and brushes
And one that grew perfumes, and powders, and blushes
There were leaves that were creams that make your skin luscious
And mommy said, “Pull the branch at the top, that’s how the Toilet Tree flushes”

So I climbed to the top, and pulled on that limb
And the Toilet Tree flushed, and we started to swim
And we swirled and we spun ‘round the Toilet Tree’s rim
‘Til we got to the bottom, and it filled back to its brim

And we paid for our leaf things, and I said, “Mommy please!
“Can we come back again?” And I begged on my knees
And she laughed and she smiled and she said to me, “Geez,
Since when do you like shopping for toil-et-tries?”